I am Alexa, Story of a Girl: September 2011

Sunday, September 25, 2011

moving on musically

Today's discerning toddler can't limit themselves musically--there is just too much to explore. Here is my find for today. It's great for jumping!

New, big girl, me!

great headphones will help immensely with your listening pleasure.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Girls can shred too! Here is a video from a girl in the Netherlands who plays along to great songs by pretty cool bands. Check out her YouTube channel to see how great she is. She has only been at it a couple of years and is already really awesome. I want to start jamming soon!

i'm not the average girl from your video

Not much point in being the average girl from your video.

Friday, September 16, 2011

even in the quietest moments

I wish i knew what i had to do.

Alexa, 2 weeks old.

And even though the stars are listening
And the ocean's deep, I just go to sleep
And then I create a silent movie
You become the star, is that what you are, dear?
Your whisper tells a secret
Your laughter brings me joy
And a wonder of feeling I'm Nature's own little boy
But still the tears keep falling
They're raining from the sky
Well there's a lot of me got to go under before I get high

Sunday, September 11, 2011

i'd give you the news, but nothin's changed

I expect every photo that i see of Chris and Alexa to look like something that i'd find in my grandmother's photo album circa early 1970s. I imagine them stuck back in my childhood. What a thrill it is to see color photos of the kids!

There are computers, and (many) other things that make it obvious that it isn't 1970 in the Philippines. Still, I always had the feeling that i'd found the place that the early 70s went to retire after it left America. In a lot of ways, that feeling was enjoyable. If you are in a constant state of deja vu, it opens up all kinds of psychic wormholes that are quite fun.

As much fun as it was for me to spend 4 years back in a 70s-like-trip, it is time to get the kids into a time machine and into at least 2008. We can always wink at each other about what it was like to grow up back in the day.

I'm goin' so fast that I can't slow down

It's hard to get up when you're spinnin' round and round

I'd give you the news but nothin's changed

I'd sing you a song but they blew it away

All wrapped up in this stupid ass game

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Let's Waste Time Chasing Cars

Alexa had just turned one when things were at the worst that it seemed that things could be. She would always try to stay up as long as she could. It was like you couldn't convince her that everything would still be there when she woke up. She was pretty intuitive about it, because i couldn't quite convince myself of it either.

We'd go for walks late at night, when, I was often told, babies weren't supposed to be out for walks. But it was the best time of the day for both of us. The world went away, the stars shone with possibilities, and my responsibility for Alexa seemed infinite, obvious, and perfect.

When we'd get back, I'd tell her stories of all the adventures that there would be waiting for all of us. Of course, she didn't understand any of it, except for a few words. So, if i dropped the word 'balloon' into the middle of a story, then the whole story became about balloons to Alexa. And any world that has balloons for kids in it can't be too bad of a place. Actually, it could be a very bad place, but that is a story for another day.

I'd tell the stories to try out the ideas in my own mind as well. It was becoming obvious that we were in the wrong place and that things would have to change. I'd play Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol over and over and sing and hum it until we both fell asleep. Now, two years later, when things are much better in many ways, I miss how perfect the space that we made in the middle of the storm was. I miss Alexa.